SPIDER-MAN!! Your recent behavior has all but proved that i was right about you! That you're a menace to the public! But you have such incredible facial hair, I decided to throw away all charges against you! Go forth, you mustachioed menace! Now where's that hairless ape Parker?!
I've been thinking that your actions as of late are not Avengers material. I was going to fire you, but by Theodore Rossevelt, that is a magnificent mustache. I'll just let you off with a warning; YOU'RE DOING YOUR COUNTRY PROUD SPIDER-MAN!
Peter, i'm scared. You've been so cold and distant, it's like you're suddenly a WHOLE NOTHER PERSON...but as long as you keep that porn stache, I will always love you. Now come to bed, and let me grab on to that handlebar, tiger